How to Create Key Routines for Busy Moms

Motherhood can be chaotic. Every day, something unexpected happens. Just the other day, I woke up to a child who needed emergency dental surgery. So, how can you find calm in the chaos? Balance amidst the hustle and bustle of each day. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom juggling household chores and little ones or a working mom trying to balance career and family, establishing key daily routines is the cornerstone of simple and purposeful living. 

5 Reasons Why Routines Matter

3-year-olds have something figured out, and they ask the question, “Why?” They want to know the reason why they have to do something. That’s not a bad thing. In fact, when we know why something matters, we are way more likely to do it. So, let’s ask, “Why do routines matter?”  I have found these five reasons to be some of the best reasons why routines matter for us, but the list is not exhaustive. When you are considering a new routine, it’s important to set the intention and know why you want to establish that routine. It might be as simple as I want to have a good face-washing habit so my face looks less wrinkly the older I get.

1. You Know What To Expect in the Unexpected

A daily routine can be comforting, especially during challenging times. Ever look at the world and think there’s not enough time to solve all of those problems? Routines provide us with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. When I wake up in the morning, I know I will make my bed, and the bed will be made when I go to bed that night. It’s simple, but it brings me comfort.  

Just last week, there was a school shooting near our home. As those things do, it jolted me. Suddenly, doing the laundry and tidying the house lowered my stress levels and gave me purpose when so much felt out of my control.

The predictability of routines can reduce stress levels. When you know what to expect in your day, unexpected events are less likely to overwhelm you. Reduced stress fosters a more adaptable mindset, enabling you to handle changes with composure.

2. Routines Are Good for Kids

Kids also thrive on routine. When I taught, we’d spend many school days at the beginning of the year laying out and practicing routines. Once they were established, even young kids could work through their daily tasks independently, allowing me to work one on the other with other students. If you feel like you always have to walk your kids through everything in the morning, you might ask yourself if you have a good and simple-to-follow routine for them.  Have you practiced it with them? Have you modeled it for them? Just like anything, we need to practice a routine repeatedly before it becomes automatic, and sometimes, the routines we have set up are unrealistic. We will get to that in a minute.  Kids like to know what to expect; it calms the chaos and allows them to focus and stay on task, especially for kids with difficulty staying focused. 

3. Automation Frees Up Decision Making

Routines mean we have one less thing to consider. I was awful about watering my plants until I established a weekly routine. Every Sunday, I water them. I don’t have to ask, “When should I water the plants?” or “When did I last water the plants?” I know. On average, as adults, we make 35,000 decisions a day.

From the first thing in the morning with simple questions like — “What’s for breakfast?” and “What should we wear?” to the bigger questions like “How should we invest our money?”  Routines are a great way to eliminate some of those smaller questions, freeing up brain space to focus on other, more important things. 

Routines automate the decision of when to brush teeth, what day we will go grocery shopping, what we will serve our family at meal times, and more.

4. Routines Help You Use Your Time Wisely

This doesn’t make sense right away, but think about it — when you have a routine setup, you have a good idea of how long things take. You don’t have to think about it, so you spend less time making decisions and use your time more wisely.  Having a consistent routine allows people to focus on important activities without feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of responsibilities.  

You don’t have to multi-task because you know this task will get done now and another will be done later. This, in turn, contributes to better time management and less brain clutter. I know I will wash the sheets on Sundays. I don’t have to think about it any other day of the week.  It also allows us to be flexible. We know when we have time in our schedule.

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So, What Are Some Keys To Setting Up a Good Routine?

You already have established routines. You might get up and get a cup of coffee every morning (that’s me). That’s a routine. Some of us are more inclined to routines than others, but we all have routines daily.  Research supports that up to 40% of what we do every day is routine-oriented. So, let’s start with what’s working and build on that.

Build on What’s Working

What’s working in your daily routines?  Are you already getting up and getting a cup of coffee? Then, how can we take that routine and enhance it? Is there something that’s missing? Or something that’s not working?  I wanted to incorporate writing in a gratitude journal daily. I tried to do it at night but I’d forget or I’d be too tired to do it so I decided to switch the timing and habit stack that activity while I drink coffee. What’s habit stacking, you ask? It’s one of the best ways to tweak your current routine to and make it better with just a little bit of time and effort.  

Look at your current routine and ask yourself what habit can stack to something I am already doing successfully.  I make my bed every day, what can I habit stack on to that so I am more successful?

Be Realistic About What Matters to You

Next, are you being realistic with your routines and focusing on what matters to you? Oftentimes, we feel obligated to do certain routines because society says they matter, but they don’t matter to us. Point and case, for years, I felt guilty because I didn’t wash all my family’s sheets every week like the “pros”, whoever they are, said to. Guess what? I found a routine of washing a couple of bed sheets a week so that everyone gets washed bed sheets once a month. That works and matters to us. It might gross you out, but guess what? Routines have to work for you and no one else. 

Tweak Your Way to Success

Often, when something isn’t working, we feel compelled to throw the baby out with the bath water (what a weird analogy) and try a life overhaul. Guess what? That’s overwhelming and doesn’t work very well. Rather, let’s go back to what’s working and tweak it until it works for us. A routine that worked in one season might not work anymore.

For example, we used to eat dinner at 5:30 pm every night for years. The kids were young, and it was a nice deadline for Scott to come home from work. Our kids grew up and got involved in more evening activities; 5:30 pm meal time didn’t always work. So, how could we tweak it to enjoy the family mealtime routine still? We just tweaked the time and didn’t have to give up family meal time in a new season.

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How can you tweak a routine to optimize it for this current season?

Do you need to change the time? I used to struggle to wash my face. Then, I started to wash it while my kids brushed their teeth and got ready for bed. We all get ready for bed at the same time now and guess what I am way more consistent. It just took tweaking the time.

When my kids were little and home every day, I did a load of laundry daily. Now, I work full-time from home and I wasn’t getting to the laundry. I was feeling SO behind constantly. So, I made a tweak and do laundry twice a week now, and the kids help me. 

Evaluate your routines regularly and make small tweaks.

Seasons change, and that means minor tweaks to your routines.  Capitalize on what’s working. Tweak it for what’s not.  Remember, your routines must match your lifestyle and needs.  There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to routines. You can definitely learn from others and their example but remember to make sure it matches your priorities and is realistic for your season of life.

What are Key Routines to Consider?

Well-Structured Morning Routine

The first step towards a productive day begins with a well-thought-out morning routine. For both stay-at-home and working moms, the early hours set the tone for the rest of the day. I found I love early, quiet mornings. I am not a night owl. So, I start by waking up a little earlier than the rest of my family (minus my husband, who’s up), resisting the temptation to hit the snooze button. I embrace the quiet time before the household stirs awake.

This sets the tone for the day, and I miss it when I don’t do it.  Don’t forget to take time to care for yourself in the morning and include meditation/prayer or a quick workout to boost energy levels and mental well-being and set the tone for your day.

Practical Tip: Write down what you want your morning routine to look like, and be realistic about the time it will take. Then, set your alarm to account for the time you need.

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Crafting a Daily Schedule and To-Do List

A clear plan for the day is crucial for any busy mom. So, I started crafting a daily schedule that accounts for work and family commitments. I break down my weekly tasks and disperse them to set days each week. This is often called time-blocking.  Be sure to be realistic about manageable blocks of time. I am the queen of thinking I can do more than I can in the time I have.

You will get better at this the more you do it, so don’t get discouraged. Determine key things that must be done weekly, determine what days it makes the most sense to do them, and then plug them into your weekly calendar.  Allocating specific time slots for tasks and activities. Combine this with a to-do list that outlines your priorities, ensuring that the most important tasks are tackled first.

Practical Tip: Write down all the weekly tasks you must do and then determine which days make the most sense. For example,  I do laundry on Thursdays and Sundays because that makes the most sense in my schedule.

Creating Mini Routines for Specific Times & Tasks

Break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable routines. Whether tackling household chores or coming home after school, mini routines can make seemingly overwhelming tasks more achievable. For example, we have a Sunday night tidy routine to pick up the kids’ spaces we commit to cleaning weekly. We set a 20-minute timer and get to work. Since we do this task weekly and these spaces receive regular tidying, it doesn’t take that long to rese the spaces.  

We also do a quick nightly reset of the main living space to wake up to a tidy space. It alleviates so much stress in the morning, and it’s a blank slate for an efficient morning routine.

Practical Tip: Implement a small task that will help you simplify and streamline a particular part of your day or chores that need to be accomplished. 

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Meal Time Routine

It is no surprise that our families want to eat daily.  Having a streamlined mealtime routine will reduce stress. No longer will you be stressed by the words “What’s for dinner?”  Setting up a time to create a simple game plan for how you will feed your family, in other words, a meal plan, will simplify life and ensure that getting to the tables will happen easily.  For more on creating a weekly meal plan, read this article.

Meal times are one of my favorite times daily when I can connect with my family. I always say food brings them to the table, but connection is my purpose.  So much research supports having an established family mealtime routine. It increases the family bond, increases student achievement, promotes good and healthy food choices, and more. 

Practical Tip: Create a weekly meal plan so you can easily sit down with your family to eat dinner together as part of your daily routine.

Consistent Evening Routine

As the day winds down, a consistent evening routine is essential to prepare for the next day. A successful morning routine actually starts the night before with your evening routine. Encourage family members, especially kids, to wind down as well. This routine could include activities like reading, journaling, or simply reflecting on the day. Creating a calm and organized evening sets the stage for a smoother start the next morning.  A good morning starts the night before!

Practical Tip: Lay out essentials like school bags, car keys, and water bottles the night before to save time in the morning.

Other Routines to Consider — 

Routines to Prioritize Time with Those You Care About

Regardless of your work schedule or daily commitments, prioritizing quality family time is crucial for a fulfilling life. Whether during meals, a family walk, or dedicated bonding moments, ensure you set aside time to connect with your loved ones. This not only strengthens relationships but also provides a source of joy and support in the midst of a busy schedule.

My husband and I started walking on Sunday afternoons to discuss the week ahead. It quickly became walking together 2-3 times a week because that dedicated time has proved fruitful in our marriage. It ended up being a dedicated “date” each week. Yes, dates don’t have to include food. Having a standing routine ensures we make it happen. We don’t have to think about it.

Practical Tip: Schedule a standing date with your spouse or family to spend quality time together.

Gratitude Journal

Routine that Prioritizes Self-Care

In the midst of managing family, work, and daily routines, don’t forget to prioritize self-care. Whether it’s a few moments of quiet time, a hot bath, or engaging in a hobby, taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining physical and mental well-being.  I implemented a walking routine years ago, and it’s morphed from walking a couple of times a week to nearly every day if I can help it.

I also love to write in my gratitude journal and read before bed. Incorporating key activities that honor your soul into your daily routine will impact your overall health and not have to be big or expensive activities. 

Practical Tip: INotice what activities bring you peace and joy. Write them down and then determine how you incorporate those into your daily routine.

Just Remember…

Life is unpredictable, and no routine is foolproof. Be open to making adjustments as needed. Seasons come and go, meaning we will need to tweak routines to better meet our needs in the season we are in. A successful routine is one that can adapt to the changing needs of your family and work life. Remember to embrace flexibility and learn to go with the flow, understanding that some days may require more adjustments than others.

Be realistic about your routines and prioritize what matters most. On a particularly crazy day, you might ask yourself what are the three non-negotiable routines I need to do – brush your teeth, make your bed, and get dressed.  It will be unique to you, but routines can calm the chaos, automate life, reduce decision fatigue, and help you know what to expect. So, take a deep breath, embrace the journey, and let the power of purposeful routines transform your daily life.

Practical Tip: Emphasize progress over perfection, allowing room for small changes that make a big impact.

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