Simple Tips for How to Find & Make New Mom Friends

Are you feeling lonely? Do you ever find yourself envying others out to eat with friends? I used to feel the same way. In 2020, we moved to our new town and were in the middle of the pandemic. I was a lonely mom, and I’d cry regularly on my morning walk. I just wanted some new mom friends. I’d had close friends in the past to share real life with, so I knew it was possible, but like many of you, friendships fizzled during that time.

I often say motherhood is a team sport. We need each other to survive the roller coaster of caring for our children, homes, and everything. There’s nothing quite like the support and camaraderie of mom friends. They’re your confidantes, your partners in parenting, and your sanity savers on those challenging days.

But making mom friends isn’t always easy, especially when juggling a busy life’s demands. So, to help you grow your mom team, I have compiled some of my best tried-and-true strategies to cultivate new friendships and find true friends. It’s full of a little tough love to kick-start your mom’s friend-finding journey!

Simple Tips for How to Find & Make New Mom Friends

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Sticking to what’s familiar is easy, but true friendships often blossom when we push ourselves outside our comfort zones. Strike up a conversation with a fellow mom at the playground, a birthday party, your child’s school event, or a local meet-up group. A quick Google search will give you ideas for contact information for local mom groups. I loved my MOPS moms group (now called Mom Co.) when my kids weren’t in school yet. We met bi-weekly at a local church, and there was childcare so I could meet other awesome moms and have adult conversations. Can I get an amen?

Make the First Move

It sounds like we are dating now, but mom friendships are like dating. I’ll never forget the day I laid eyes on my old friend. She wore a navy striped shirt, dark wash jeans, and Sperry shoes. She had me at the navy stripe. We sat by the train table, watching our kids play at the library. Since we were the only two there and the library is my version of a bar, I asked her how old her kids were. It’s my standard pickup line, and we struck up a conversation.

By the end of our conversation, I gave her my contact information, hoping she would call. She did, and we started to meet up at local parks. Ironically, early on in our relationship, I accidentally sent her a funny/awkward picture of my husband that was meant for my sister-in-law, and her gracious, comical response solidified that we would be good friends!

We can be so intimidated by one another, but just be brave and say hello. Come up with a good pick-up line and use it. Then, keep asking questions and listening. See if you can find common ground. Use an encouraging word to open up the conversation. If we wait for friends to come knocking on our door, we have a better chance of becoming friends with the neighbor kid who knocks looking for our children!

Attend Play Dates or Story Time

One of the best ways to meet other moms and kids is at play dates or story time at your local library or community center. These casual settings provide the perfect backdrop for making new connections while your little ones have fun together. Plus, the best part is no one has to host, and it’s a regular occurrence on the calendar that helps you get out of the house.

Be a Mom Friend First

We all want a friend, but we need to change our focus and ask ourselves, how can I be a good friend? So, often, we can get so focused on our loneliness, but when we reach out and serve others, we will find friendship. Ask yourself how you can serve a mom in your midst. Then, serve them well. Be available. Put your phone down and just sit in proximity to others. I talk with other moms on our team when I go to dance competitions. I offer to help with carpool.

Get Involved in Community & School Activities

Get involved in organizations where other moms hang out. If your kids are in school, consider joining the parent-teacher group. When I was a first-time elementary school parent, I connected with many other moms this way. Volunteer for school events, join school committees, or chaperone field trips. These activities benefit your child’s education and provide opportunities to connect with other parents.

You can also try a Bible study. I love them because you will meet moms of all ages, and I love having older mom mentors to share advice and encouragement in the trenches of raising kids. Community Bible Study and Bible Study Fellowship are both non-denominational and great. Check to see if your hospital organizes new moms groups. My tried and true: go to the library for story time or hang out in the kid’s area. Try Kindermusik music class, mom-focused workout classes or other meet-up groups in your area.

Start a Mom Book Club or Bunco Group

If you love to read, why not start a mom book club? It’s a great way to bond over shared interests and engage in stimulating conversations while building meaningful friendships. Invite neighbors or your kid’s friends’ moms. Not only do you get to know those in your community, you can share your love of reading.

Not a big reader? I started a BUNCO group in our first neighborhood. We met once a month to play the simple dice game and rotated houses. We could chat and play a game together. We had a good time; it was a good way to get to know my neighbors because you never know when you will lock yourself out of the house and need help!

Be Brave & Show Up

After you meet someone, get their phone number and plan a playdate. We all have a bit of social anxiety when making new friends, but the best way to form friendships is to flex that fear muscle. If someone asks you, be brave and say yes. Just like when you are dating, first dates are always a little awkward until you get to know someone, but the only way you get to know someone is by showing up repeatedly. Deep friendships are formed by repeatedly showing up and doing life together over time.

Make Time for Friendship

Every relationship is made or broken based on the effort put forth. Friendship is no exception. You need to take time and invest in your friends. We make time for what is important to put our friends on the calendar. Be flexible and think outside the box about how to get together.

It could be things like running errands together. Go to Costco together! Minivans have room for many car seats—or running a carpool so you can chat when you pick up each other’s kids. Friends sometimes ride with me to away games to chat on the way. We talk on the sidelines of the games and get to know one another while we cheer on our kids.

Sign up for the same basketball team to chat while watching your kids play. Go on a walk and get a little exercise while you talk. When our kids were little, my best friend and I would sometimes have our kids nap at each other’s houses. Pack-n-plays are awesome. Be willing to be flexible.

Now that my kids are older and all in school, I work from home by Thursday. My social tank is pretty empty, so I purposefully plan a coffee date at a local coffee shop or a lunch date with my friend nearly every week. It’s so good for my mental health. If I can’t make it work, I truly miss it. You could try a happy hour or plan a walk together. Having something on the calendar makes it easier to invest in your relationships!

What if you already have friends?

You are not off the hook. Be aware of others who could use friendship. You can never have too many mom friends. Over the years, friends have moved away. Growing up, I moved every two years, and joining a new group can be awkward. I wanted someone to reach out, make eye contact, and see me. I remember that and look for people to be friendly too.

Not every person you meet will be your best friend, but don’t discount them immediately. Some of my best friends have differed from me regarding age or interests. Be open-minded and approachable when meeting new moms. You never know where you’ll find your next great mom friend, so keep an open heart and a friendly demeanor wherever you go.

What happens when friendships change?

Life happens, and circumstances change. Friends move, kids go to different schools, and you change churches. As a result, friendships change with time. If we expect to keep our friendship exactly how it has always been despite a change in season, we will be left disappointed. I have had that happen. I have held on to evolving relationships, and ultimately, it didn’t end well. Sometimes, our closest friends in one season change. Some friends are in your life for a season, others for a reason, and fewer for a lifetime.

Don’t Let Past Experience Hold You Back

I’ll never forget how my high school boyfriend broke up with me in front of the entire high school musical cast at our cast party. He was a winner. After that experience, I never wanted to date again. We have all had similar experiences with a friendship that caused us to tread lightly in putting ourselves out there, but I could have missed out on meeting some of my best friends had I not stepped out and said hello.

Don’t Give Up Too Soon

If you haven’t found your people yet, don’t give up. Keep being a friend, show up, and love others well. I hope you will strike up a conversation the next time you have the opportunity. You never know when you will meet new people who will become some of your most cherished friends.

Just Remember…

Forging meaningful mom friendships takes time, effort, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. But the rewards—emotional support, companionship, and lifelong memories—are worth it. So, take a deep breath, put yourself out there, and watch your mom tribe grow with the help of Simple Purposeful Living. Here’s to building wonderful friendships that enrich your life and make motherhood even more fulfilling.

Listen to the podcast: