Tips for Navigating Tech and Phones with kids

In today’s world, technology plays an important role in our everyday lives. With the rise of smartphones and other electronic devices, it’s easy to spend too much time on our screens and not enough time interacting with our family members in real life.  Sound familiar? You aren’t alone. 

However, technology isn’t going away so it’s our job as parents to help our kids navigate phones and technology and create healthy habits around digital media use. So many of us are looking for help on how to teach our kids the best ways to use cell phones and video games. So, how do we maintain a healthy balance of screen time and encourage quality family time? Consider these tips for navigating tech and phones with kids.

Tips for Navigating Tech and Phones with Kids

How much screen time should kids have?

This is the question everyone is always asking. How much is too much? In our home, we do have regular screen time. It works for us. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under 18 months of age should have no screen time, and children aged 2 to 5 years should be limited to one hour per day of high-quality programming. For older children and teenagers, the amount of time spent on digital media should be balanced with other activities, such as physical activity, social interactions, and spending time with family members.

Again, as parents you need to make the best decision for your family.  Technology is part of our everyday life and so we want to give opportunity for our kids to practice using technology in our home so we can help coach and mentor them.

Consider Screen Time Limits

One good way to encourage healthy development is to set limits on screen time. Many parental control apps, such as Google Chrome, Apple’s Screen Time, and Amazon Prime, offer features that allow parents to set daily limits on phone and video game use.  These apps as well as the Bark app can also be used to block inappropriate content and track a child’s phone use. Some families find it’s a good idea to use a free tech contract for parents to set clear guidelines and expectations for phone and video game use.

It’s also important to recognize the negative effects of too much screen time. Recent studies have shown that excessive screen time can lead to decreased physical activity, poor sleep, and negative effects on mental health.  I know I have felt those effects, I bet you have too.  Our kids aren’t immune either. The American Psychological Association’s annual stress report found that “constant checkers” of email, text messages, and social media accounts reported higher stress levels than those who checked less often. 

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Model Good Tech Habits

This one is always hard but important.  Have you ever kept track of how much time you are on your phone? I use the screen time app on my phone and it pops up while I am at church most Sundays.  I can’t lie it’s mind-blowing most weeks.  Studies show many adults touch their phones an average of 2617 times per day.  As parents, we can model healthy habits by putting our own devices away during family time and limiting our own phone use.   

Central Location To Charge Devices & Tech-Free Zones

We charge the kids’ iPads and phones in our laundry room.  Consider creating a central location for charging phones.  We also have pre-determined tech-free zones for our kids.  There are no phones in bedrooms, during family time or at the dinner table.  We call our dinner table “the tech-free table”.  This allows us to spend quality uninterrupted time connecting as a family. 

Establish Regular Conversations with Your Kids About Tech

For older kids, it’s important to have an open dialogue about personal information, privacy settings, and the influence of social media.  We assume they know these things but we learned from others telling us.  I would rather them hear the information from me and be sure it’s correct rather than hear it from others.   

Here are a few things we regularly talk about with our kids:

• See something, say something: We want them to feel comfortable coming to us with any and all things. We can help them walk through tricky situations and provide guidance with things online.
• Share passwords with mom & dad: our kids’ phone password is something we know and can log in at any time.
• Talk to Mom & Dad if an app or someone online asks for personal information, and do not share personal information with strangers online.  
• Don’t open emails, texts, or social media DM’s from unknown senders, and be careful with online friends.  
• Don’t click on links you aren’t sure about.  
• Never meet someone you meet online without parental permission and supervision.
• When new “viral” events arise, like TikTok trends), tell them about them and make sure they understand the consequences.
• Boundaries and rules are meant to keep you safe and not be a “buzz kill”

For our family, when it comes to talking with our kids.  Our rule of thumb is not to assume they know and over-communicate.  We aren’t just rising kids but we are raising future adults and so it’s our job to prepare them for the world we live in today.  I know it’s not easy and I want to bury my head in the sand too but this is too important to ignore.

Help Them Understand We All Have A Digital Footprint

It’s important to help our kids understand they need to be mindful of what they post.  We all have a digital footprint and once it is out there, it can’t be taken back.  Just because you delete it doesn’t mean it’s gone.  You might not mean it the way others interpret it so think twice before you post.   

We have a rule in our home – is it helpful, is it kind, is it necessary?  This is a lesson often learned the hard way by trial and error.  I can confidently say I have learned this the hard way and I have shared that with my kids.  It’s important our kids see us as “human” and know that we have made mistakes too so they come to us knowing we can relate and will understand.   I will often remind myself and my kids of this “If you wouldn’t want the world to read it, it’s probably not something you should write.”  

​Step-by-Step Process with Tech

We won’t just give teens the keys to a car when they turn 16.  There are safeguards in place that help them learn how to operate a car correctly.  We can’t give our kids phones and technology and expect them not to “crash” with no guidance.  It’s our job as parents to teach them how to use it responsibly.  They will “crash” occasionally and when they do, we can help them fix their mistakes and learn from them while we are still in our care and the stakes are lower than when they are adults.

We approach technology in a step-by-step approach.  First, we give them a phone with no internet and no social media with parental features that require us to approve all apps installed on their phones.  As they show maturity with that step, we will add more features slowly so they can practice under our guidance.  

Ask Mentors For Their Advice & Opinion

One of the hardest parts of navigating technology with our kids is that we didn’t have to navigate all of this when we were young.  I am still shocked that iPhones were invented in 2007, in my world that wasn’t that long ago.  So, we have asked other parents and kids we respect and admire about what they did and wished they had done differently.  This has informed our parenting decisions.  

Just Remember…

We are all trying our best. As know more, we change and adapt. For us we try to find a healthy balance, we prioritize quality time with our family and physical activities in everyday life. Encouraging our children to participate in sports, hobbies, and other interests that can help promote physical activity and in-person social interactions is so important.  We all know that in-person connection is definitely so much better than online engagement. The real thing is always better than a virtual one.

I know as parents we want to pull our hair out when it comes to cell phones but they aren’t going away so how can we as parents help our kids navigate these tools in a way that will be beneficial to them and also understand that it’s important to use them in moderation and with caution.  Hopefully, these tips for navigating tech and phones with kids will help you.

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